Did someone say chocolate?!

This is one of those days where we have the option to make a strong effort to be as kind and generous to ourselves as possible. I have caught myself twice in the past week needing to go into the walk-in refrigerator where my kitchen is and talk myself (out-loud) into lightening up on me.  This freakin’ perfection thing is such nonsense…isn’t it?  What, like someone is going to come into my own business and give me a hard time for not being perfect enough? WhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaT!

When we come from family systems where the only people who have permission to make “mistakes” are the leaders of the pack life can be pretty flippin’ confusing from there on in. That combined with my fraud stuff that comes from being a self-taught chef….yo, Baby!  Of course, I know how this works but the stubborn critic in me wants to hold onto invalidation because I don’t  get to be out-of-balance! Eeeeeeeeeesh!  Well, rock on Missy Girl, and get over it, be your fabulous self, whether you like you at that moment or not. I’d say this can be our message to ourselves today & every other day. Valentine’s day just  seems to make this more obvious to me.

Interesting stuff, the ego. The need to find self-approval can be the hardest test we go through. When I watch other people do their unconscious deal I’m clear that my impatience with them is equal to my impatience with me. Paying attention to the judge gives the ego a chance to let go of whatever it is that we think is so big & bad.  So, today, on this day of loving possibilities I send out huge hugs and great harmony for the fact that any of us would choose to be focused on love.

Way to go!

CHOCOLATE CHUNKS… a Valentine’s Day treat just for you!

This is an easy recipe to make and keeps for a long time. Store the chunks in you refrigerator and let them come to room temperature when you’re ready to eat them. You’ll want to use an 8” X 8” square pan, either metal or glass and line it with aluminum foil that has been buttered lightly. Keep some of the foil long enough to over-hang the sides of the pan to lift out the chunks once they’ve solidified.

Melt 2, 10 ounce bags of Ghiardelli dark chocolate chips (60% cocoa) in a metal bowl over simmering water or in a double-boiler until smooth. Don’t let the chocolate get hot, just let it melt completely.

While the chocolate is melting organize all the fruit and nuts. The ginger is the only element that needs to be cut into smaller pieces. The rest of the ingredients can be added whole.

Fold into the melted chocolate: 2/3 cup each…dried cherries, dried cranberries…salted, roasted cashews & un-roasted, unsalted pistachios. Then add 3 tablespoons of crystallized ginger cut into small pieces. You want the ginger to be a surprise so that it doesn’t overwhelm the rest of the flavors.

Mix everything together gently and then pour the mixture into the buttered and lined pan. Let the chocolate sit on your counter in the pan and become solid on its own before putting it in the refrigerator. Then let the chocolate chill in the refrigerator for up to 2 hours before you pull the entire block out of the pan using the aluminium foil to lift the block out. Cut up into as many as 36 pieces…any shape you want will work.  Store in a sturdy container with a lid for up to a month. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Dragon Magic.

I know I’m off by a good week in focusing on the Year of the Dragon. I got side-tracked with life stuff like some of the rest of us. I read a little info about this year in Chinese astrology and this is what was said: “For people born in the year of the Dragon, it has been told in Chinese myth and legend, that they are considered free spirits who don’t respond to conforming to the “norm”. Rules and regulations are made for other people and restrictions are antithetical to creativity. Dragons must be free and uninhibited. Dragon people are extroverted, energetic, irrepressible and flamboyant!”  Yep, that’s me but this seems like it could be a lot to live up.

Well, after 12 years it turns out that I get to be a Dragon-meister again and the water element associated with this specific Dragon cycle helps keep the flow of ease present for this kid! Thank God for small favors! I have been resistant to identities associated with numbers and astrology but it does intrigue me. It also seems that all the positives associated with this power sign could and do apply to everyone of us. I remember when I first found out that I was of the Dragon sign I was so jazzed because I was the only one in my family who has this sign. It did feel like a big responsibility though. 2012 is also supposed to be a huge year of transformation and change but don’t you think that’s true for every year or every day for that matter?

The responsibility for each and every one of us to honor our lives feels like the only real responsibility any of us will have to master while were in the body. I started out living the life of over-responsibility as a result of growing up with 12 other people. You learn how to walk and chew gum at the same time very early on when you’re one of the “oldest” in your clan. My memory of how I got started cooking was when I was a fairly young kid, about 12 or 13 it seems. Cooking for 10 siblings plus Mom & Dad AND me, yet, learning a certain sense of sophistication from both of my parents when it came to food has served me well all these years later as a professional self-taught chef.

In the mid-1980’s I was in the throws of NYC catering when corporations had money to burn on things like gold-leaf Blueberry Tarts for a press event introducing Poison perfume, for instance. I worked for a company that was across the street from where I lived in Tribeca, before anyone heard of Tribeca.  There were Cassis Mousse (I think the plural of that should probably be mice?!) in beautiful cut glass bowls with frosted sugar coated grapes for garnish and huge budgets for flowers that many times I had the good fortune to arrange myself.  Balducci’s and  Dean & DeLuca on Prince Street were the places to go for the perfect, beautiful display/garnish elements for the kick-ass look of big-money. Man, it was a time!!! But, I must tell you…I don’t miss it a bit.

It was hard not to blow your circuits from over-working. The week of a big 500 guest party at B.A.M. or the Met, for example, would start out with an 8 hour Monday, a 10 hour Tuesday and by Saturday, the day of the gig you’d be lucky to get 2 hours of sleep! The hardest part of those weeks was at the end of the soiree when you’d have to load up the truck(s) to take everything back to the kitchen and you could give a flyin’ about all of that stuff when all you really wanted to do was leave it on the sidewalk and go home. Sometimes we’d put a boom box on the street with some James Brown in the tape player and crank up the sound to get things moving….it always worked!

And, here I am, in Boulder, Colorado making dinners for people to come and pick up in our kitchen (it’s a legal kitchen now though). My husband, Richard & I started an organic wholesale baking business a year ago this past October and we had our first spiffy catering this past Saturday night since I left NYC 18 years ago. Three hors d’oeuvres and 4 plated courses, good eats! Talk about life changing. The difference now is, I’ll be 60 years old this August and I’m younger now than I was in 1985 when I had just gotten sober and started in the food racquet! It helped that I got sober when I did because I was around the best drugs and alcohol on the planet. That combined with the best food on the planet…whoa, Buddy!

Now I am a peace-filled Dragon (most of the time) who looks forward to being calmer 10 years from now than I am today and I thank all the upsets and drama that got me here. I wouldn’t change a thing about the training from my childhood nor life in the Apple!  If we can all give a few moments every day to acknowledge the gifts of life’s challenges we absolutely will be calmer and more joyful because respecting our pasts creates a cleaner version of the present and makes it all worth every tear and belly-laugh. Life is good y’all!

Here’s a recipe from a cooking class I did at Whole Foods dated 2/12/2002.

Dragon Noodles:

1lb. very thin fresh Chinese egg noodles (found at Asian stores)

Zest of 2 lemons, well scrubbed

4 Tbsp. black sesame seeds, toasted with some more for garnish

1 ½ cups scallion rings, green & white, thinly sliced

¼ cup grated red radish

¼ cup grated raw carrot

¼ lb. snow peas, quickly blanched

Fluff the noodles in a colander to separate & untangle the strands. Cook them in plenty of rolling, boiling water, swishing gently with chopsticks until al dente, about 2 minutes. Drain & plunge into cold water to stop the cooking process. When cold drain thoroughly. Re-whisk the dressing, toss with the noodles to moisten them. Let sit 10 minutes, add all the rest of the ingredients. Mound the noodles in serving bowls and garnish with more of the black sesame seeds.

Dressing:

¼ cup sesame oil (not toasted)

¼ cup safflower oil

2 Tbsp. chili oil

3 Tbsp. black soy sauce (found at Asian stores)

2 tbsp. ginger juice, from pickled ginger

3 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice

3 Tbsp. sugar

½ tsp. salt

Combine all these ingredients and whisk together to blend well. Top with more FIRE (red pepper flakes) if you want.

Happy Chinese New Year! Remember to take good care of you!